Culture and Language Style

I see a big barrier to cross cultural interaction, especially when so many cultures get to live in the same area, which is what we have today. I see it everywhere and it is almost funny sometimes, when people can agree on a same things, but have a completely different understanding about it. My parents will often comment on other cultures and their views, but I see it a little bit differently due to the fact that I have a more open mind to it. Some people judge others on their acts, but behind the acts often there is tradition and family views that those people were raised with. This past week I had a great ability to visit a church gathering of people that were born in the 80's, and the purpose of the gathering was to speak out of the things we wanted to change in church, I was listening and watching carefully to gather facts for my journal writing, and I was amazed on the opinion differences that were based on cultural views. People like me that were raised back in Ukraine had different outlook on church issues, and had a different solutions on the way that they wanted to solve the issues, and the people that were born here in the US could not understand us and even though we all talked about the same problem, we all saw it differently.We came to a conclusion that we had to find a middle ground and agree on it, because it is hard to agree on a solution with so many different opinions.

Premises

I agree with the three basic beliefs(334), rationality premises, which we can see all over us, institutions, jury trials and many others are all the proof that a person is able to discover the truth by using logical analysis. The second premise is perfectibility, in which I believe myself. I do believe that I was born in sin, we all sin, and even a little child who had just learned to speak already lies. My son was only one and half years old, and he would lie to me about certain things already, this proves that it is in the person, because nobody was teaching him those bad things and I do believe that as we continue to live, we can improve by doing good deeds, and putting effort into it, which is not easy to do, and requires much work and self control. The third premise is mutability, which assumes that humans act based on their surroundings. I agree with that as well, we can see it everywhere among people. Hollywood celebrities act one way, and homeless people act based on their surroundings, so as do other groups of people. If we take a homeless person, give them a home surround them with better things, they change their psychological views and they act different. If a teen hangs out with a bad crowd, he or she is most likely to start doing the things that they are doing and adopt to the way they think, even if that person had different views before they joined the company. Mutability premise is what makes us divide into groups, and we tend to find friends that have same views and act like we do.

we are "creatures of our culture"

I completely agree with Ruth Benedict, and the concept that we are the creatures of our culture, there are so many things that we adopt to and it becomes a part of us. I was born and raised in a different country until I was 12 years old, and I can assure you that by the age of 12 I was a creature of Ukraine. I did not notice the cultural differences until I came to USA and started meeting people from different cultures. Many times when we look at other cultures, we can judge them for not doing things the way we do, but that is the time when we get a chance to learn something new and maybe even break through the limits of our cultures, all we need is an open mind. In Ukraine there are many traditional things that imply to getting married, as far as wedding reception, before the wedding specific traditional dinners. There are traditions about the amount of guests that need to be invited, and parents invite their friends to their kid's wedding, and when younger generation of Ukrainians came to America they wanted to break through and adapt to some American cultural traditions,  as you can imagine that was not easy. Older Ukrainian generation came here, and they don't want to change their habits, they feel like the younger Ukrainians are obligated to follow the traditions, and not want to adapt to other cultural views. Many parents have conflicts with their soon to be married kids, because they chose to have a small wedding and decided to invite only their friends, and have Chinese food for their wedding reception. That kind of situation can spark up a big argument before weddings, and that is why many times you can witness a Ukrainian wedding for 500 people, with traditional Ukrainian food. But there are people who are willing to adapt change and have an open mind to other cultural traditions. I always said that Ukrainians are too stubborn to change, and I made up my mind after I had a huge wedding myself, basically because I wanted to keep the peace in the families. Sometimes its hard to break through if it involves other people. But after living in the US for 15 years I can easily say that there are many things that changed, and many young Ukrainian couples do have American style weddings, and even their parents don't mind, so that once again proves that it is possible to change habits.

Week 7 ~ concept from Ch 5

I chose to bring attention to Relational Information. According to Albert Mehrabian, there are three kinds of relational messages: liking, status, and responsiveness. Liking- indicated through facial expression, eye contact, proximity and the like. Status - is often conveyed through posture, gesture, touch, proximity and objects that we display. Responsiveness – the degree to which we are psychologically involved in interaction. These three concepts stood out to me, because I found this to be exactly related to our everyday situations, when we verbally communicate with others. In this section we read that just by paying attention to these three sections of relational information we can get an idea of where the person stands and how the person feels about you. A real life experience would be me trying to start a conversation with one of my friends, and I noticed that she was looking somewhere else, and she answered me in a monotone. Later after that strange conversation I discovered that the person I was talking with did not consider me to be a friend, and therefore did not care to speak to me. So I discovered that her responsiveness pointed out to her not respecting me enough to even respond to me with respect. I am glad I am learning these concepts, because I am starting to use this information in my communication, and I am noticing that this knowledge made it easier to define real friendships.

Week 7 ~ nonverbal displays in different countries

I cannot talk for many cultures, but one I sure can relate to. I came from Ukraine, and there are some significant differences in communication. Nonverbal messages do not differ from the way they are used in America, maybe slight difference between the way people act. A smile is not something that you can see as often as we see it here. Even though people might be just as happy, they don't often show it with their face expressions, and that is why sometimes it is hard to intrepid if a person is happy, mad, or just doesn't care. Some gestures like the "thumbs-up" signify approval, just like here. When people talk in public they stand very close to each other, because it is considered to be inappropriate to speak loudly in public.  Eye contact is something that signifies honesty during a conversation, but it is considered to be rude to just stare at someone for no reason. The other gestures, are similar to American ones, for example a kiss on a cheek, pat on shoulder and a hug is considered to be acceptable norms of communication for close acquaintances.

week 7 ~ Misinterepretation

Nonverbal messages are so easy to be taken as wrong messages, and if a person is not aware of this kind of language it becomes even harder. When me and my husband just got married, we always has arguments, because he said that my body language expressed sadness and almost as if I was depressed. I listened to him, and I thought he was crazy for thinking that, but the more he pointed things out, the more I saw why he would think that I was expressing sadness. I think that I was very unaware of nonverbal messages, and the more I learned certain body expressions, or moves I restrained from doing it. So  what was I doing to make it look like I was depressed? I would sit and stare at a wall, and this would last for even few minutes, and my face had a strong expression that looked like madness. What was I really thinking? I would just think simple thoughts, or planned something, but making that face was my habit, and I did not know how it looked from a side, until my husband once snapped a phone picture of me. It sure opened my eyes, and I saw what others did, and I wanted to change that. I learned to control my expressions, and my body language. I notice others do the same thing I did, and I'll ask them if they are upset at something, and the immediate answer would be "of course not". Sometimes when it's a close person I try to share my experiment with them, and would want to inform them that it is important to study nonverbal messages.